Stress is a person’s physical and psychological response to challenging or difficult circumstances. For example, you may be experiencing a professional or personal conflict on the job. Or perhaps you have been turned down for a job or promotion. Or perhaps you have a huge deadline approaching, and feel you cannot manage. We all encounter such stressful situations. Here are a few tips, based on my own experience, to help you manage your reactions to them.
1. Manage Emotional Reactions.
Most of the time we as humans have a strong emotional reaction to stressful situations, e.g., anxiety, sadness, irritation, disappointment, depression, feelings of helplessness, even anger. An emotional reaction to a stressful situation is not helpful to you. It does not help you solve the problems, or plan the best way forward. It tends to cloud your judgment. Realizing this basic fact is an essential first step.
I am not advocating that you be like Spock, or that you suppress emotions, which can have its own negative consequences. Rather, it is a matter of not letting your emotions consume you so that you are unable to work out your problems.
2. Is It Really Worth It?
Some things are just not worth getting stressed out about. Here is an example. I have found recently that students come to class later and later, even 20 minutes late on a regular basis. Years ago, this would have driven me insane. I would have felt it to be disrespectful, both toward my course and toward learning in general. I would have talked to the class about it. But now I made a conscious decision to not get bothered by it. If students walk in late, I greet them cordially and check them off on the attendance sheet. That is it. Problem solved. There are so many things like this in life and at work. What about that person at work with the perpetually snarky, unhelpful, condescending remarks tumbling out of their mouth? Just ignore them (if job requirements allow). It is such a relief, believe me. This simple piece of advice will make half the stress in your life simply evaporate.
3. Consider the Worst-Case Scenario.
What is the worst that can happen? Often times, we overestimate the negative consequences of a stressful situation. Think through the possible consequences of the situation you are in. If the worst-case scenario is not that bad, there is no reason to sweat over it. And keep in mind that sometimes the worst-case scenario can lead to other doors opening in unexpected ways.
4. Adopt a Problem-Solving Perspective.
Try to view the situation from a problem-solving perspective. What exactly are your needs and goals? How can you break the situation down into manageable pieces in order to achieve your goals? What concrete steps can you take for each of those individual pieces? Looking at things from a problem-solving perspective will help you to shift from the negative to the positive.
5. It Is All Mental.
Suppose you looked into a bush and saw a tiger. Your body and mind would react immediately in all kinds of ways, even if there was in fact no tiger in the bush. Your reactions are not directly tied to reality, but rather to your perception of reality. Similarly, your reaction to stressful situations is completely determined by your perception of the situation. If you perceive a situation to be very negative and difficult, you will react accordingly. If you perceive a situation as a solvable problem, you will react accordingly.
6. Communicate In-Person, If Possible.
If possible, try to resolve issues in-person (or at least by Zoom), not by e-mail. E-mail correspondence can go very wrong in all kinds of ways. In my experience, E-mail is definitely a stress multiplier. It is much easier to come to some kind of resolution with in-person meetings.
7. Set Boundaries.
A huge drawback of being an academic is the lack of work-life boundaries. While popular opinion is that being a college professor is a cushy job with three months off in the summer, the reality is that a research-teaching position is essentially nonstop, even on the weekends. The demands that an academic position can make on your time are essentially endless: committees, meetings, appointments, talks, teaching, class prep, grading, research, e-mail messages, defenses, etc. An important way to manage stress is to be firm about boundaries. What kinds of projects and responsibilities can you reasonably turn down? What are your priorities? Can you schedule a day or two a week without any kind of work-related tasks at all? Setting boundaries for yourself and others that you interact with can help you to prevent stressful situations from getting out of control in the first place.
8. Stress Affects Your Health.
An emotional reaction to a stressful situation has negative health effects. For example, it can increase your cortisol levels, which will raise your blood glucose. It can also disrupt your sleep, which has all kinds of negative health-related consequences. Therefore, you should treat stress-related issues as a health issue. Take them as seriously as you would an illness.
9. Use Exercise to Reduce Stress.
Exercise is perhaps the best medication for managing a stressful situation. Take a long run or walk or bike ride. Get outside into the sun and breathe the fresh air. Get the blood pumping in your brain. Then return energized with a clear mind to the issues you are facing.
10. Stay Healthy.
The foundation of stress management is good health. If you are healthy, you will handle stress much better. Some core areas to focus on include: regular exercise, regular sleep, avoiding sugar and other unhealthy foods, eliminating smoking, getting regular medical check-ups. Crucially, you need to prioritize and schedule time to work on your health.
